Everyone wants to feel respected by their manager, but over half of employees say they don’t. What do you do if you’re in that unfortunate majority? Try these three things:
1.Manage your energy. Sleep, exercise, good nutrition, and stress management can help to ward off the negative effects of being disrespected by your boss.
2.Seek positive relationships. Negative, draining relationships have an effect on your sense of thriving that is four to seven times the effect of energizing, positive ones. To offset the drain of people who pull you down, surround yourself with a small group of energizers — the people in your life who make you smile and laugh and lift your spirit.
3.Thrive outside work. If you’re happy in your non-work life, you’re more likely to thrive at the office, no matter what your boss thinks of you. This is because enjoying yourself outside work increases your emotional reserves and gives you a sense of growth and learning. Think about what will make you happier outside the office, and start doing it.
- Adapted from _“How to Succeed at Work When Your Boss Doesn’t Respect You,”_ by Christine Porath -
-Christine Porath*, is a professor of management at Georgetown University and the author of _Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace.-
When it comes to negotiations, let’s face it: We don’t always act rationally. And quite often a seemingly friendly discussion can turn nasty. If you and your counterpart are not seeing eye to eye, don’t try to force the other person to take your point of view by threatening them. Instead, do everything you can to share your understanding of the situation without implying that you have malicious intent. Try to frame implications as natural consequences, not calculated revenge. Rather than saying, “Cross the non-compete one inch and we’ll sue you,” say, “I want to be clear that I have an obligation to protect the firm’s interests.” You don’t need to apologize for protecting your interests, but don’t relish your power to do so. And always press for dialogue, not concession. As you share any potential natural consequences, reassure your counterpart of your wish to avoid those consequences and your willingness to continue the dialogue in search of better mutual outcomes.
-Adapted from _“How to Deal with the Irrational Parts of a Negotiation,”_ by Joseph Grenny-
*Joseph Grenny* is a four-time New York Times bestselling author, keynote speaker, and leading social scientist for business performance. His work has been translated into 28 languages, is available in 36 countries, and has generated results for 300 of the Fortune 500. He is the cofounder of VitalSmarts, an innovator in corporate training and leadership development.
Writing and delivering performance reviews can be one of the most challenging tasks for any manager, and it’s easy to be either too positive or too negative when reviewing a team member’s performance. Sometimes a struggling employee walks away thinking that everything is just fine in his job performance; sometimes a star employee thinks you’re disappointed in her. That’s why it’s important to strike the right tone. Decide ahead of time exactly what you want to convey. What should the employee walk away feeling? Then carefully manage your tone of voice, facial expressions, nonverbal communication, and emotions to convey that tone. Don’t let your own nerves cause you to send mixed messages. For particularly challenging review meetings, you may want to role play the discussion beforehand with another coworker to make sure you are conveying the right tone and are adequately prepared to respond to any challenges or pushback from the employee.
*Adapted from _“The Key to Performance Reviews Is Preparation,”_ by Ben Dattner*
*Ben Dattner* is an executive coach and organizational development consultant, and the founder of New York City–based Dattner Consulting, LLC. You can follow him on Twitter at @bendattner.
Most of us think of entrepreneurs as passionate professionals who have a “ﬁre in their belly.” But it’s hard to maintain that level of dedication no matter how passionate you are, and research has shown that entrepreneurs’ enthusiasm for their projects can fade over time. One way to prevent this is to avoid sticking to a plan. Strictly adhering to your business plan is a recipe for disengagement. You need to be flexible and agile as you learn more about your product, your customers, and the market. This isn’t just good for your business; it keeps you excited about your project as you continue to evolve it. By changing and refining your ideas, you can make significant progress and build your confidence. Rather than feeling misunderstood by the outside world, you will gain a sense of control over events as they unfold, which will counter any decrease in passion over time.
*Adapted from _“How Entrepreneurs Can Keep Their Passion from Fading,”_ by Veroniek Collewaert and Frederik Anseel*
*Veroniek Collewaert* is an Associate Professor of Entrepreneurship at Vlerick Business School and KU Leuven (Belgium). Her expertise is in entrepreneurial biases and in how entrepreneurs deal with their investors. You can follow her on twitter as @veroniekc.
*Frederik Anseel* is Professor of Organizational Behavior at Ghent University (Belgium), where he holds the Securex Chair “Working in the 21st Century”. He studies how people can remain engaged and vigorous in the face of challenges. You can follow him on twitter as @fanseel.
When you need to talk through a difficult issue with a coworker, it’s tempting to just get it over with. But don’t start the conversation until you’ve taken the time to see the situation from their perspective. Try to get a sense of what your colleague might be thinking. They have a rationale for the way they’ve been behaving, so what might that reason be? Imagine you’re in their shoes. Ask yourself questions like: What would I do if I were them? Also ask yourself what your colleague is trying to achieve. You’ll need a sense of what their goal is if you want to help achieve it. Identify places where you two see eye to eye on the issues. This common ground will give you a foundation to problem solve jointly and will make the conversation go much more smoothly.
*Adapted from _“How to Mentally Prepare for a Difficult Conversation,”_ by Amy Gallo*
*Amy Gallo*, is a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review and the author of the _HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict at Work._ She writes and speaks about workplace dynamics. Follow her on Twitter at @amyegallo.